Subdued by fear, I have become stagnant, unable to brace the uncertainty of this chaotic world. Static in my self, I've exhausted myself trying.
Tag: Mental Health
The let-down
Today, my brain is screaming "give me a reason to live!" This catastrophization is the result of me taking my medication late. There are shakes, as if going into withdrawal, dry lips and weak knees, and tears. All symptoms of the let-down. On days like these, my sanity is lost.
Silence.
I hear the crunch of bone and everything runs slow. Like, in the matrix; time and space no longer matters. I am paused; hand resting on the door knob, heart in my throat, lungs caught midway between breathes. Then I see everything clearly. In this silence, I am able to finally process the … Continue reading Silence.
Black Out.
Mum and I are sitting at our kitchen table. The sun is full, cascading into the room dousing us with its warmth. In hushed tones we are attempting to discuss my future. She speaks to me voice slowly rising with each concerned thought. ‘I believe it’s best if… But in reality Selina… … Continue reading Black Out.
Blind.
My psychologist says, that I become easily overwhelmed by “emotional clogs”. Too much information – too much stimuli – too many emotions – and, it’s goodbye rational thinking. My brain is a puzzle, each piece a different emotion or thought. Logically, I know they should all fit together. But I just can’t seem … Continue reading Blind.
Snap.
It’s part of me – the Snap. It can be triggered by anything. One minute I’m fine and the next, I’m fucking not. I’m a grenade, just pull my pin and I’ll explode. Sometimes it’s meaningless things; like – someone chewing loudly. You know the kind, wet and right up in your … Continue reading Snap.
Blogarrhea 