You say;

‘There are worse things that could have happened!’

Because he didn’t touch me with his hands,

but I was raped none-the-less.

He didn’t need to touch my body,

all he had to do was get into my head;

To make me see,

that I was his, and his alone.

‘Nobody will ever want someone as broken as you …

as fragile as you …

as damaged as you. Nobody, except for me.

I can fix you …

I can make you work …

I will make you loveable again.’

 

His promises to fix me – lies.

His perfectly timed words, establishing his control.

‘Be careful, they’ll only hurt you more…’

‘They won’t understand you like I do…’

‘Stay with me, the world will disappoint you…’

‘Stay with me!

Stay with ME!!

STAY WITH ME!!!’

 

Thanks to him,

I am afraid to let people in,

to be vulnerable and emotional.

Thanks to him,

I tell people I’m fine when all I want to do is

hide.

Thanks to him,

I’m rotting from the inside out,

defiled by his words.

Thanks to him,

I’m afraid of my body,

because of all the times,

he pointed to my physical flaws.

Thanks to him,

I’m afraid that falling in love,

means falling to ruins.

 

But to you, this isn’t rape.

To you;

‘There are worse that could happen.’